I'm going to jail i love you
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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