Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
