Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
