I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
