I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
