So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
