Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
