Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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