I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
