then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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