Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
