So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
