I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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