is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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