before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
