Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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