I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
