you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
