when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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