he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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