She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She told me I should be a condom model.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
