I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
