everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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