Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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