There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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