jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
