thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Drunk is not a location!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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