Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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