she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
