Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
