i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
