My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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