I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
