She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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