I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
