Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
