We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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