try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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