Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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