i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize