I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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