You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
