First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
