some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
