what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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