I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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