you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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