doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
