it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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