doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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